I’m only 35, but ever since about 28 I just can’t wait to turn 40.
I know that sounds weird. I’ve told people that before and they look at me like I’m crazy. It took me awhile to figure it out myself. But I think I’ve finally figured out why “40” sounds so good. It’s cuz, for some reason, in my head (so we know it’s completely crazy logic), I think that by the time I’m 40, I will have “it all together”… I’ll balance my checkbook more than once a month (and it will actually balance). I will know where all my bills are and actually pay them on time. I will always have clean clothes (and they will be grown up clothes, not just jeans/tshirts/yoga pants). I will have a “savings account” with a balance above the $1 required deposit amount. I will buy a house (I could probly do that now, but who wants to mess with home repairs when right now I can just call the landlord. I’m lazy). I will have my debt paid off (actually at the rate I’m going, that may happen around the age of 104). 40 also sounds …. “liberating”… not that I have any clue as to why I would be more liberated then than I am now.
Why do I think all these magical things are going to happen when I’m 40? Do I think that on my 40th birthday I’m going to wake up with a balanced checkbook, a better paycheck and a new wardrobe in a better house? No. I don’t think that. Well, actually apparently I do. Cuz I make no sense. Not even to myself.
I don’t know. It sure would be nice! But I guess I need to make some lifestyle changes to accommodate all these changes that I’m counting on…
It’s a little late in the year for New Years Resolutions. I never stick to them anyways, because of the “imperfect perfectionist” that is my alter ego. I hate that bitch.
So how about some weekly goals. I’m learning I do best with short term goal and almost-instant gratification. I’m like a 2 year old.
This weeks goals:
- Balance checkbook
- No yoga pants between the hours of 8am and 5pm
- Eat breakfast and take vitamins (I was going to say “take meds” cuz I’m lazy and its shorter, but then I would leave you all wondering just exactly how crazy is she???)(I say “you all”. *snort* Like I have a ton of people reading… Nope, just 3. AND I LOVE ALL THREE OF YOU!!)(Maybe I should think about meds since I’ve now written an entire paragraph inside 3 sets of parenthesis <- I had to google that cuz it didn’t look right, but it is.)
- Come to peace with the fact that, although my job isn’t perfect, I am doing what I love and I make almost enough money to justify it.
- Be grateful.
- Be patient.
- Be me.
Ok, that’s enough. I’m probly going to freak out by tomorrow because I wasn’t patient or grateful about something and try to throw in the towel on the whole week. But I will remind myself that my inner “imperfect perfectionist” is a bitch and not to listen to her and that if I want to wake up “40” on my 40th birthday, I have some work to do.
PS: My 3 readers… thank you for reading…. even if you run screaming from my blog now. I’m working on it. 🙂