Turning 40

I’m only 35, but ever since about 28 I just can’t wait to turn 40.

I know that sounds weird. I’ve told people that before and they look at me like I’m crazy. It took me awhile to figure it out myself. But I think I’ve finally figured out why “40” sounds so good. It’s cuz, for some reason, in my head (so we know it’s completely crazy logic), I think that by the time I’m 40, I will have “it all together”… I’ll balance my checkbook more than once a month (and it will actually balance). I will know where all my bills are and actually pay them on time. I will always have clean clothes (and they will be grown up clothes, not just jeans/tshirts/yoga pants). I will have a “savings account” with a balance above the $1 required deposit amount. I will buy a house (I could probly do that now, but who wants to mess with home repairs when right now I can just call the landlord. I’m lazy). I will have my debt paid off (actually at the rate I’m going, that may happen around the age of 104). 40 also sounds …. “liberating”… not that I have any clue as to why I would be more liberated then than I am now.

Why do I think all these magical things are going to happen when I’m 40? Do I think that on my 40th birthday I’m going to wake up with a balanced checkbook, a better paycheck and a new wardrobe in a better house? No. I don’t think that. Well, actually apparently I do. Cuz I make no sense. Not even to myself.

I don’t know. It sure would be nice! But I guess I need to make some lifestyle changes to accommodate all these changes that I’m counting on…

It’s a little late in the year for New Years Resolutions. I never stick to them anyways, because of the “imperfect perfectionist” that is my alter ego. I hate that bitch.

So how about some weekly goals. I’m learning I do best with short term goal and almost-instant gratification. I’m like a 2 year old.

This weeks goals:

  1. Balance checkbook
  2. No yoga pants between the hours of 8am and 5pm
  3. Eat breakfast and take vitamins (I was going to say “take meds” cuz I’m lazy and its shorter, but then I would leave you all wondering just exactly how crazy is she???)(I say “you all”. *snort* Like I have a ton of people reading… Nope, just 3. AND I LOVE ALL THREE OF YOU!!)(Maybe I should think about meds since I’ve now written an entire paragraph inside 3 sets of parenthesis <- I had to google that cuz it didn’t look right, but it is.)
  4. Come to peace with the fact that, although my job isn’t perfect, I am doing what I love and I make almost enough money to justify it.
  5. Be grateful.
  6. Be patient.
  7. Be me.

Ok, that’s enough. I’m probly going to freak out by tomorrow because I wasn’t patient or grateful about something and try to throw in the towel on the whole week. But I will remind myself that my inner “imperfect perfectionist” is a bitch and not to listen to her and that if I want to wake up “40” on my 40th birthday, I have some work to do.

PS: My 3 readers… thank you for reading…. even if you run screaming from my blog now. I’m working on it. 🙂


3 thoughts on “Turning 40

  1. I love your idea of the “imperfect perfectionist”, I can completely relate to that. So many times I have started things, and then given up half way through, because it sounded/looked way better in my head than I was ever able to accomplish. Any ideas on how to overcome that? 🙂

    • Hi, thanks for reading. 🙂 I constantly remind myself that I am human and I don’t need to be perfect. It was actually when I started following Flylady (I saw on your blog you are going to be working on her baby steps, that’s awesome!) it started to click with me. Stuff like “house work done imperfectly is still a blessing to your family”… Or something to that effect. I just keep trying to be ok with not being perfect.

      • Yeah, Flylady has definitely been on my list of “Want to do’s” for an eternity. That’s one of the reasons why I am doing my blog and the challenges, because I want to push myself to do things that I have always wanted to.

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