Turning 40

I’m only 35, but ever since about 28 I just can’t wait to turn 40.

I know that sounds weird. I’ve told people that before and they look at me like I’m crazy. It took me awhile to figure it out myself. But I think I’ve finally figured out why “40” sounds so good. It’s cuz, for some reason, in my head (so we know it’s completely crazy logic), I think that by the time I’m 40, I will have “it all together”… I’ll balance my checkbook more than once a month (and it will actually balance). I will know where all my bills are and actually pay them on time. I will always have clean clothes (and they will be grown up clothes, not just jeans/tshirts/yoga pants). I will have a “savings account” with a balance above the $1 required deposit amount. I will buy a house (I could probly do that now, but who wants to mess with home repairs when right now I can just call the landlord. I’m lazy). I will have my debt paid off (actually at the rate I’m going, that may happen around the age of 104). 40 also sounds …. “liberating”… not that I have any clue as to why I would be more liberated then than I am now.

Why do I think all these magical things are going to happen when I’m 40? Do I think that on my 40th birthday I’m going to wake up with a balanced checkbook, a better paycheck and a new wardrobe in a better house? No. I don’t think that. Well, actually apparently I do. Cuz I make no sense. Not even to myself.

I don’t know. It sure would be nice! But I guess I need to make some lifestyle changes to accommodate all these changes that I’m counting on…

It’s a little late in the year for New Years Resolutions. I never stick to them anyways, because of the “imperfect perfectionist” that is my alter ego. I hate that bitch.

So how about some weekly goals. I’m learning I do best with short term goal and almost-instant gratification. I’m like a 2 year old.

This weeks goals:

  1. Balance checkbook
  2. No yoga pants between the hours of 8am and 5pm
  3. Eat breakfast and take vitamins (I was going to say “take meds” cuz I’m lazy and its shorter, but then I would leave you all wondering just exactly how crazy is she???)(I say “you all”. *snort* Like I have a ton of people reading… Nope, just 3. AND I LOVE ALL THREE OF YOU!!)(Maybe I should think about meds since I’ve now written an entire paragraph inside 3 sets of parenthesis <- I had to google that cuz it didn’t look right, but it is.)
  4. Come to peace with the fact that, although my job isn’t perfect, I am doing what I love and I make almost enough money to justify it.
  5. Be grateful.
  6. Be patient.
  7. Be me.

Ok, that’s enough. I’m probly going to freak out by tomorrow because I wasn’t patient or grateful about something and try to throw in the towel on the whole week. But I will remind myself that my inner “imperfect perfectionist” is a bitch and not to listen to her and that if I want to wake up “40” on my 40th birthday, I have some work to do.

PS: My 3 readers… thank you for reading…. even if you run screaming from my blog now. I’m working on it. 🙂

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My Brain Hurts

I’m so overwhelmed with the amount of information I am trying to cram into my 35 year old brain! Maybe that’s why yesterday seemed so loud? Too much inner noise, coupled with too much outer noise? I spent the weekend doing some reading about blogs and how they work and how to “stand out” and how to “write a great blog” and how and how and how…. the list goes on. My brain hurts. I feel so much pressure to have a “great” blog. And to make my posts “visually appealing” and not have too much “white space” and the list goes on and on again. But when I step back and ask myself to identify the source of all this pressure… hmm… wouldn’t ya know it. It’s my inner “imperfect perfectionist”. She’s such a bitch. I started this blog as something for me. Not for her… in fact this blog was meant (yes, I should have put a comma there but I’m rebelling against my inner “I.P” so I’m not going to!) to be a tool to teach myself that imperfect is ok. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been slightly OCD (and I don’t use that term lightly) about everything in my life. I’m not sure where it comes from. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I didn’t even try. This causes all sorts of issues in my life, as you can probly imagine. I am human and I can’t do ANYTHING perfectly, so I tend to not get a lot of things done. Enter procrastination. UGH, I’m a hot mess. Actually, I’m not even a hot one, more like a slightly tepid one.

Soooo… anyhoo… I guess my point is that my blog is NOT going to be perfect and THAT’S OK. I really enjoy self growth. I always have. So, instead of agonizing over my blogs imperfections, I’m going to enjoy the learning process.

Self Growth… that is going to be my journey. And I am going to make mistakes and I AM GOING TO BE OK WITH THAT! <– That is a total lie, I’m going to freak out, but I’m hoping if I keep telling myself this, it will somehow start to work. 😉

Self Growth and necessary healthy delusions. Love it!

I will close with a gratuitous puppy picture. It always makes me smile. I’m off to snuggle with the grown up version of this little guy.

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Shhhhhh……

I apologize if this post looks weird. I haven’t tried posting from my iPad before, as I despise typing on this stupid “keyboard”.

Have you ever had one of those days where everything is just too loud? My boss was too loud, my coworkers were too loud, even my volume on my phone made it sound like the sweet receptionist from my daughter’s orthodonist’s office was screaming in my ear (I know she wasn’t but it was so loud!!). Everything! Traffic, my car, even my dishwasher sounds obnoxiously loud. The kids, the dogs, the husband, ohmygawwwwsh, the husband is SO LOUD.

So now I am hiding in my room, with my iPad. Tv is off, lights are low and I’m trying to find some silence. Except that as I sit here, the dogs are scratching at the door, my kids are hollering for me and my husband keeps asking me questions from the living room (which means he has to shout them at me).

*sigh*

Hopefully tomorrow won’t be so loud.

Life with dogs

THIS is one of the moments I fondly remember life before dogs.

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That would be a muddy foot print on my couch. There are numerous identical ones on my other couches, my carpet and MY BED (but I won’t share pictures of those because I’d have to clean my bedroom first and that is just not going to happen right now).

As I stand in my living room, about to lose my marbles over all this freaking MUD , turn around to see this:

 

And This:

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And then I remember this:

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and this

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and this:

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and this:

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Good thing they are so adorable. Not sure they would have survived so far… but I can say the same thing for my kids and husband. Good thing that man is so cute!

Fur Babies

Where did I go wrong? I wrote the post… I hit “preview”.. I fixed my inevitable errors… I hit “publish”… and I just realized the post never showed up. I don’t know.

Anyhooooo… today’s challenge: use a new element in your post… well I would LOVE to use a photo, but the only camera I own (besides the one on my iPhone) is older than my children (which I mentioned in my disappearing post). So I’ll use photos from my phone. Please forgive me if these are HUGE or tiny. LOL.

This is my handsome husband and one of our pups, when he was still little. He’s WAY BIGGER now.

Mr. Hot and Zeus

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Ok, there we go. I used a new element in my posts. 🙂 Yay, me!

I really would like a new camera. One of the reasons I started this blog is to share recipes… which I can not accurately do until I have a camera. 😦 Which is very sad for you because dinner was delish!

And this is Oscar when hims was just a baby. My little half wiener dog/ half pitbull. That was a rough day at the vet, getting all his puppy shots. He’s much bigger now, too. And yes, you read that correctly, half wiener dog/half pitbull. Strange bedfellows, I know, but he is the cutest stinkin dog you ever did see. Like a wiener dog on steroids. 😉

Oscar, the wonder dog.

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I also have kids. And I love them very much…. but I have more pictures of my dogs. 😉

Off to snuggle puppies! Night night!

 

Starting a blog

When I was younger, I loved to write. I have a folder stuffed full of adolescent poems about love, life and the struggle to find my own identity. When I wrote each of those poems, they actually made sense to me. They captured a moment in time where I was able to put “myself” into words. Now I read them and think “Self, what the heck? Why were you so upset about that?” Or “Good grief, self, that doesn’t even make sense.”

I think that is why writing is so hard for me now. I know I love to write, but I’m so afraid that I’m going to look back on my past ramblings and see my mistakes. And I will. Cuz I’m human. I grow and learn and discover new things daily. All that new-found knowledge makes my past ramblings just that, ramblings. Like I’m writing now. *sigh*

Ok, so in order to learn how this whole blog thing works I’ve started the Zero to Hero challenge. Because I’m a perfectionist and can’t start anything until I have devoured every bit of information on it that I can get my chubby little hands on… And yes, they are chubby. I have sausage fingers. Not my best trait.

So today is day 3… I’m supposed to “write the post that was on your mind when you decided to start a blog”… Ok? Well, when I decided to start a blog I was 6 hours into reading everything this woman has ever written and thinking about making candied bacon. (Seriously, CINNAMON SUGARED BACON. You have got to try this!)

And now that I’ve gone back to How Sweet Eats to look for Cinnamon Sugared Bacon, I’ve lost another hour and a half. I supposed to be making food for a Super Bowl party today.

Ok, what was on my mind… I love the randomness of a blog. I love that one day I can talk about my dogs (who are the MOST perfect puppies on earth!) and the next day I can talk about my fickle desire to get in shape (other than round). I love the fact that I can share a recipe, an anecdote (as soon as I learn how to spell it) or a photo. I also was thinking that if I started blogging my recipes, someday (most likely when I’m 97 years old) all my recipes would be in one place and I wouldn’t have to search through stacks and stacks of paper, magazine pages, newspaper scraps, or tattered index cards to find something. They have that neat little “search” bar to do that for me…

I was also thinking about how it would be nice to be as funny and endearing as some of the amazing women whose (who’s? nope, I think it’s “whose”) blogs I lose myself in on a daily (or nightly.. or wee early morning hours-ly) basis.

But none of that a blog does make. So Zero to Hero it is… and that is what I was thinking when I decided to start a blog…

Ok, time to start cookin!

On the menu:

jalapeño poppers – stuffed with cream cheese goodness and wrapped in bacon, of course

Chicken and Bacon Bites – inspired by Paula Deen – I just throw a little salt and pepper and garlic powder in mine to spice things up a bit. 😉 

 Cinnamon Sugared Bacon– Cuz you made me think about it.

Stuffed Potato Skins – with cheese and bacon on top, of course

Little Smokies and Meatballs in BBQ Sauce – cuz their easy and I’ve learned to have one easy, no fail app when promising to bring food somewhere.

 

Have a great Sunday. Go Broncos! (Since my Steelers didn’t make it and my hubby’s dreams of the 9ers making it again were crushed by the Seahawks.)

Why “Hot Pink Sprinkles”?

I’m so glad you asked!

Well, because this blog is for me! It’s something just for me to do to make me happy. In the world I live in, I often spend more than enough time doing things for others; hubby needs his jersey washed before the game, Little Man needs to be picked up or dropped off; Princess needs new shoes; Pups need to be fed; the Boss needs this or that project done… the list goes on and on and on and on… Not that I’m complaining. I mean, I do complain sometimes, loudly, and with great passion… but all in all that is my life. And I wouldn’t trade it for anything. But sometimes I need to do things for me. Things that make ME happy. And what is not happy about Hot Pink Sprinkles?

I mean, C’MON! That just makes me smile.

So, even if no one (except my family because they all wonder what I’m saying about them) ever reads this blog, just having a blog called “Hot Pink Sprinkles” makes me smile.