My Brain Hurts

I’m so overwhelmed with the amount of information I am trying to cram into my 35 year old brain! Maybe that’s why yesterday seemed so loud? Too much inner noise, coupled with too much outer noise?Ā I spent the weekend doing some reading about blogs and how they work and how to “stand out” and how to “write a great blog” and how and how and how…. the list goes on. My brain hurts. I feel so much pressure to have a “great” blog. And to make my posts “visually appealing” and not have too much “white space” and the list goes on and on again. But when I step back and ask myself to identify the source of all this pressure… hmm… wouldn’t ya know it. It’s my inner “imperfect perfectionist”. She’s such a bitch. I started this blog as something for me. Not for her… in fact this blog was meant (yes, I should have put a comma there but I’m rebelling against my inner “I.P” so I’m not going to!) to be a tool to teach myself that imperfect is ok. Ever since I can remember, I’ve been slightly OCD (and I don’t use that term lightly) about everything in my life. I’m not sure where it comes from. If I couldn’t do it perfectly, I didn’t even try. This causes all sorts of issues in my life, as you can probly imagine. I am human and I can’t do ANYTHING perfectly, so I tend to not get a lot of things done. Enter procrastination. UGH, I’m a hot mess. Actually, I’m not even a hot one, more like a slightly tepid one.

Soooo… anyhoo… I guess my point is that my blog is NOT going to be perfect and THAT’S OK. I really enjoy self growth. I always have. So, instead of agonizing over my blogs imperfections, I’m going to enjoy the learning process.

Self Growth… that is going to be my journey. And I am going to make mistakes and I AM GOING TO BE OK WITH THAT! <– That is a total lie, I’m going to freak out, but I’m hoping if I keep telling myself this, it will somehow start to work. šŸ˜‰

Self Growth and necessary healthy delusions. Love it!

I will close with a gratuitous puppy picture. It always makes me smile. I’m off to snuggle with the grown up version of this little guy.